Things That Make It Hard To Breath

The news.

My inability to get out of bed when I’m not meant to be at work.

Trichotillomania.

The weight on my lungs.

The look my mother gives me when she knows I’m not doing any school work but doesn’t understand why.

The moment I realized I was going into 2016 without a Best friend.

How I read because it’s the only way I can control what I feel.

The sentimental value I put on inanimate objects because they can’t hurt me.

The way I can’t sleep.

How hazzy my head is.

The way I know what it all means but I can’t speak without the air it steals.

From a crack in the wall Teenage Catastrophe

 

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One thought on “Things That Make It Hard To Breath

  1. I’m sorry to read that you feel the way you do. Correct me if I’m wrong but what you wrote suggests that you’re missing some kind of purpose in your life besides work. The good thing is that feelings pass, so you won’t feel the way you do forever. However, you gotta do something. You have to get out of bed and find a purpose for getting out of bed the following days, weeks, etc. You will find something because there are things you love. It might just take some time to rediscover them. This way things can and will change; e.g. your best friend is waiting for you out there. You just have to find her/him.
    If there’s anything you can’t say, then write it on a piece of paper tear it to pieces, burn it or just keep it somewhere. The thing is to get that weight of your chest. Sometimes screaming or crying your heart out doesn’t need air or tears. Sometimes all it needs is a piece of paper, a pen and words. Just give it a try. Wish you all the best!

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